Imagine someone in his worst figure – a skinny, filthy, brown-skinned, dirty-haired guy garbed with low-lying eyeglasses, tight-fitting clothes, tattered black-and-white shoes, with a watch on the left wrist, and a bulky black backpack stuffed with white polka dots hanging at the back. If that guy who seems like out of breath from walking swiftly suddenly smiles at you, well then that could be me.
An ordinary day at the university always presents an army of stressors that never fail to infiltrate my already-infiltrated life. I find it hard to buffer them from breaking in to my ADLs (activities of daily living) since I am almost always too busy to do so. I would often wake up late, trying to savor every minute of sleep; then I would eventually end up panting while plowing each staircase leading to the topmost floor of whatever building there is on campus. Fortunately, I never have to pay a visit to the SAO; thanks to consideration! I also take extra notice of my charming eye bags that has already become a trend in the college. Well, you could guess – I am a third year nursing student.
I get my daily dose of medical terms and nursing interventions from instructors who seem to forget that we are only nursing students and not high-speed computer processors. Everyday, I acquire new diseases which I get from class discussions on pathophysiology. Return demonstrations from Skills classes also get to nag me. Include the Research factor, then the stress day has to be complete. By that alone, I could make the most out of the 500-peso library fee while getting a chance to scan old books that smell like foot. Community immersions also make my allowance evaporate. Nursing care plans, teaching plans, family health care plans, index cards, journal reaction papers, learning feedback diaries, and other printable projects are just some of the endless array of requirements that could either make us skip our meals, eat our savings or strain our wrists (carpal tunnel syndrome, anyone?).
I was also done with reviewing health care concepts which were quite interesting. What was ironic though was memorizing the concept of stress management, which was in itself another form of stressor. Students then have to execute defense mechanisms, another lesson in Health Care. But what annoys me most is the way instructors desperately cram on discussing voluminous lessons before the Final examinations in hopes of finishing the course syllabus. We were left but to stare at the “compensatory” handouts and reading assignments that were supposed to be discussed in detail. C’mon, give us a break!
Second year was way less frantic than third year. What belittles the former is that the latter boasts nothing but the nerve-wracking clinical duties. For three days in a week, we ramp those white and pink uniforms, as well as those paraphernalia. 24 hours of fulfillment or fear will elapse so quickly. Of course, the diminutive pink Code of Conduct booklet would flash before our very eyes, reminding us to dare not commit even just the tiniest error (as in wrong ink in charting) while on duty. I had learned the importance of this book during the last summer term. I had spent additional 32 hours in recompense of my negligence as a student nurse. Let us just say I run dry of good reasons to justify my deeds in my incident report (IR).
And yes, who could ever forget those two-letter combinations? They are somehow like magical incantations that clinical instructors utter to tame us. Fearful as it may sound, I deem it an important factor as to the discipline of student nurses in the clinical setting. You could just imagine how an SN would shake and panic after a little erasure has been made in a patient’s chart. IRs, demerits and extension duties are by far the real-life Fear Factor challenge in a student nurse’s life. But lecture classes on minor subjects and socialization outside the classrooms pose another side of the story. I feel unleashed and free after an RLE course. More often than not, we get branded BS in Noise for the clamor we make in the corridors.
“If your heart is not in the nursing profession, then you are free to go. This is not the place for you.” Very often do CIs reiterate this in the college. The statement truly addresses the need to love whatever nursing stuff you do, whether it be just from making simple SOAP charting to assisting in a major surgery. But many of student nurses whom I know do not see the good side in nursing. They would always blame their parents for having them forced into the profession. Eventually, they would say that was the reason for their failing marks in school. Well, whose fault was it anyway? I could not help but think of the sum of money being wasted every semester just for this pathetic excuse thinking that it is never easy for my parents to procure a 23-thousand peso down payment out of thin air!
I remember that day when I also doubted myself in my position as a future nurse. A few minutes before my CEE, my mind was blank on what course to take. Then I only had two options – Nursing or Accountancy. But since I loved biology more than math or logic, I then decided to take the entrance exam as a BSN applicant. To date, there was not a time that regret surfaced within me, only lots and lots of burnout though. As one nursing composition stressed, the journey has just begun…there’s no turning back now…
As I took up nursing, other aspects in my life become compromised. Compare my face before college and my face now, and you could see a total transformation – a totoy turned to a gloom-stricken visage,haggard as they put it. Also, my persistence to excel in this profession has led me to slowly murder my passion for the art of dancing. I could not join in extra-curricular activities because I greatly fear that I would fall from my academics. I have never foreseen that I would perform well in academics in college since I was more of a performer and only a second-grade achiever back in high school. So now, it is really too late to turn back from the standards I have already set; to think that my crashing down dozens of notches down in the Dean’s List is a big matter to others. It is truly hard when people’s expectations exceed your limitations.
In the course of my stay in the university, I have observed that much of the stressors do not really come from the things around me, but more of it comes from my self. Until now, I could not master my emotions so I could combat and manage stress. It engulfs me like how I engulf my favorite hot sizzling banana-cue! Entering the stress arena that battle within the spaces of my thoughts are other almost unbearable problems on finances, family and friends. I could not stop thinking over one stressful event until I lull into sleep. I could just get curious how my body tolerates them all!
The good thing though is that I have already made it a part of my life. It may be distracting and depressing, but I have to live with it. I can never avoid stress, anyway. Besides, I would rather choose three stressful yet fulfilling days rather than one boring and empty hour. My course is a tough and stressful one. If I could not hate nursing, then the only option is to love it.
And to think that being a nurse would bring me the greatest stresses of all, then I should be ready.
Special thanks to: Mama, Daddy, Ate, Ading, Inang;C2 “aras” pipz: dren, marvs, hannah, joyce, sam, ash, tim, audz, angel, jen, shiki; my Bloke Kuwatro peers SY 2006-2008 lois, hannah, jessa, angela, elaine; BSN III-C ernest, vikko, carlo, herschel, krisian, dea, lyndle, melody, leo, daivey, andrew; to knoll; all SLU-SNs; mam rona abul, mam lette, mam sonia, mam bayla, mam pangwi, mam soliman, mam pangwi, mam pachao, mam ochoco, dean; to the new W&B staff; and to my long lost friend whom I’m missing so much…
